I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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