No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
