Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
