I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
