Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
