some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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