Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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