The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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