I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
