DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
