Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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