if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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