clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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