Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
