Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
