I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
