I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
