I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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