She's JV to your varsity
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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