FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
