break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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