its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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