i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I smell stomach acid.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Houston, we have a blender
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
