She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i now understand why vodka
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
