I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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