as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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