At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
