i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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