U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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