So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
two words...techno handjob
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
