plz talk dirty to me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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