i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
