u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
