she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
