Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
