he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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