4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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