he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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