yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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