Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
