I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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