I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
