New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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