grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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