My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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