The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
