when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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