are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
