He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
