She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
