Plan B is the new Plan A
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
