What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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