All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize