I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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