hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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