It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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