2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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