I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
