That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
