Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
