i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love you.
Bad choice
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
