dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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