Only a mothe r could love this liver
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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