Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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