I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
