I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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