Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
