Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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