yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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