hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
