Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
